The Birth of Baby

 *** Term Stillbirth Story Ahead***
Tuesday, January 17th I had a routine midwife appointment. Baby was engaged, cervix thinning, heart rate in the 140s.
It was the last time I heard that sweet, sweet sound.
That same Friday and Saturday, I noticed she was pretty quiet, but thought nothing odd of it. We were approaching 40 weeks and I’d been having some on/off prodromal labor a few days prior. I assumed our girl was gearing up for birth as its not uncommon for movements to slow. I was chatting with my doula about it on that Saturday evening, and she suggested I do ten jumping jacks and then monitor for movement. So I did, and thought I felt a subtle movement after. And assumed things were okay.
Mild contractions started that evening around 9pm. Not yet regular or too uncomfortable. Over the course of the next 3-4 hours they picked up a bit in intensity and hurt just a little bit more. It was almost 1am and I decided to rest up for birth.
I was up again at 4am, and although my doula again suggested the tub (for the 4th time, lol) it just didnt feel like the right spot to be. Things intensified and nausea came. I was throwing up between most contractions while trying to rehydrate so I wasnt dry heaving. Things continued to progress and close to 7am I decided to call my midwife to tell her I was coming to the hospital.
She never returned the call.
My MIL came shortly after to stay with my older children (6 and 2) while we prepared to go to the hospital. Only I couldnt seem to pull myself away from the bathroom. Between many loose stools and just general pressure I just couldnt get farther than a few steps. By this point my legs were fatigued from spending the last 4+ hours laboring standing/squatting. Yet trying to do anything else was uncomfortable. Impossible.
As I walked out of the bathroom (finally!) I collapsed to all fours.
After that, everything happened so quickly.
My waters broke.
Still fully clothed, I noticed a greenish tint to my lounge pants.
Meconium.
Immediately following, I delivered. Roughly around 8:15am. I fished her out of my pants and quickly noticed the nuchal cord. So many times around my sweet girl’s neck. It untwisted without much fuss, but her eyes were closed, body limp. Frantically, I patted and jostled her, praying for her to breathe, cry. My husband called 911 and the operator was walking him through starting compressions when the medics arrived. They worked on her, intubating, attempting a femoral line. Meanwhile I had “the distractor”, who was attending to me physically but also doing whatever she could to keep my focus on her rather than the baby.
There was one set of medics taking her to the hospital while another brought myself and husband. Upon arrival, they split and I told him to go with our baby. I received two stitches and physically felt pretty good for just giving birth.
When the neonatologist walked in, the look on his face spoke volumes. Our baby was gone. She had passed sometime within the 24-36 hours prior to birth, cause of death a cord accident.
Our angel is gone before ever arriving.
Sweet Baby
5lbs12oz and 18.5 inches of pure perfection.
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4 thoughts on “The Birth of Baby

  1. Pingback: Ivy. |

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